I am writing this post, mostly just for me.
Today - actually as of 4pm - I will have been married to the same person for 39 years. I can barely remember not being without him. Everything I do and alot (but not all) of what I am is pretty much untangleable from him -- though to be honest, sometimes I really need to escape.
Thats what the sewing room is for.
Living a life with a partner has not been easy, but it has made the hard things in life easier to cope with. We have created two sons, who contribute to the world, rather than take from it, but I raised them with the purpose of independence and it looks like they are so independent that there will be no further generations to follow from them! Aw well, I am not a real mothering type, though I imagine it would be fun to share some of my days with someone with a younger point of view.
In all those 39 years, we have moved from Winnipeg to Victoria in 1986 and then because Victoria (though it looks very nice to visit) is not really a welcoming place to live, so we moved to Abbotsford, east of Vancouver in 1991 and we have stayed in this quickly expanding town.
In many ways, I am a lucky girl, the man that I share my life with can be relied upon to do anything and I do mean ANYTHING for me. "He is the man who walked 500 miles just to fall down at my door " -- A line from a song by The Proclaimers.
When he and I were dating -- those many years ago, and of course we were young and strong and somewhat foolish, he walked from his parents home, which if you know Winnipeg was out Portage Avenue near Grace Hospital, all the way down Portage to Arlington Street, then down Arlington Street and over the Arlington Bridge north to Mountain Ave, then west on Mountain Ave to my parents home -- in WINTER! What is the day like today in Winnipeg? Well, that was the kind of day he walked all that way. Yes, young and strong and foolish and no money to come and see me, so he walked and he walked and he walked... My mother was so amazed at what he had done that she gave him bus fare home! And that was very generous of her! In those days, young men did not stay over at their "intended's" parents home. That would never even have been considered.
I married a man without prospects. His family was not poor but they had no vision, and really I and mine were much the same -- we worked at jobs that came along. We never had a career that you could call a life work. He worked mostly in a warehouse, a shipper/receiver, a truck loader and inventory counter. He rarely sat at a desk. His earnings did not support our growing family as well as it should have -- we plowed along though and managed to buy a house and sell it and buy another house and sell that and now we have a townhouse that is not yet paid for and probably will not ever actually be -- unless of course 6 lottery numbers happen to come along that fit the numbers that I have chosen on my own ticket -- my hopes are not high on that score, though...
We have been up and down in fortunes through these 39 years and I would say we are currently experiencing a Valley -- finance wise and relationship wise. He can't seem to hear and I am tired of saying things over and over -- a common complaint I am sure. He has an affinity with his dog that I think may border on obbsession -- he really likes his dog! And I like my sewing room. We have too much stuff and am always trying to find things -- memory is a fleeting thing it seems! Tho I cannot understand why he would put chocolate chip cookies in the trunk of the car, except maybe that is done on purpose as I think he does not want to share them so hides them and has them to nibble on while he drives around at night delivering the newspapers... Or maybe he does that to SAVE me from those chocolate chip cookies -- I surely do not need them as there are still many of them piled on my hips that need to be "worked" off...
When I began this journey so long ago, I never even expected to live this long -- though mind you, I never expected to not live this long. I guess that over this many years, one grows used to certain things and laughs and crys and is uplifted and disappointed at what has gone by. I consider that for the most part it has been a successful adventure though not a lucrative one. It has been interesting with a variety of adventures but without adventurous travel or aquisitions of monumental proportions. We go on from day to day, we have what we can without extending our finances except in times when a job is replaced by no job. We just keep going on.
We were well matched, I am the brains and he is the brawn and I believe he will outlast me in the end.
This is my 39th Wedding Anniversay, not a particularly special day and even though some may say that just being married that long is an amazing feat -- I say not really so, when you are willing to compromise and share the load and put your head down and deal with all the things that come along as a team, it is easier to be together and face the world as ONE, than to deal with life and its hurdles by yourself...
I would not suggest that everyone needs a partner but if the right kind of person comes along, anything and everything is lighter if you have someone to help lift the heavy boxes.
